tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS March 1, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
yeah! captioning sponsored by cbs ( band playing intro music ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! thanks, everybody! thanks so much! welcome to "the late show." nice to see you. what's going on? ( cheers and applause ) thanks, everybody. thanks, so much. welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. ladies and gentlemen, i don't know if you know this, but there's news coming from the world of coffee that has got some folks a little bit jittery.
just came out-- that next year they will open their first store in italy. finally, they will have customers who know what venti means. i looked it up. it means 20, because that is the price of a venti. ( laughter ) now, this could be even bigger than when dom neoopenned in italy and introduced them to the idea of disappointment. it's delicious. it's delicious. i want to say considerations to starbucks and hope the italians enjoy-- >> excuse me. i don't want to interrupt, but when does the singing start? >> yeah, and he doesn't look anything like tevye. >> no. ( laughter ). >> stephen: i'm sorry-- can i help you? i'm doing the thing. >> what scene is this? >> i have no idea. i don't see a fiddler or a roof.
what is going on here. the ed sullivan theater is here on broadway, and the theater next door is where they are doing "fiddler on the roof." and people line up for both our shows at the same time outside on 53rd street. jim, can we get a shot of what that looks like? see both our audiences are right across the street from each other. and sometimes people get mixed up and get in the wrong line. i'm sorry, i'm sorry. but you're in the wrong theater. it's right across the street. it's next store. >> that show started and i don't think they're going to let us in now. >> and we came all the way here from topeka for jonah's birthday. >> it was my last wish. ( laughter ) >> i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. >> stephen: oh, my god. oh, my god, are you sick? >> no, no, he just makes a lot
recent one. ( laughter ). >> stephen: oh, okay, well, i mean, i guess i could try tri-to sing something. >> yeah. >> that would be great. ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you. >> stephen: would that be okay? would you like that, jonah. >> yeah. >> stephen: okay, okay, let's see. jon, do you think anything from fiddler. yeah what about this matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match find me a find catch me a catch hmmm-hmmm. line? and make me a perfect match! for papa, make him a scholar for mama make him as rich as a king. for me, well, i wouldn't
is it he were as handsome as anything matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match find me a find catch me a catch night after night in the dark i'm alone so bring me no ring groom me no groom find me no find catch me no catch unless he's a matchless match ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: oh! well, there you go. i hope you enjoyed it. i certainly did. >> absolutely, that was great. we're going to tell all our jewish friends kansas to come see your show. >> stephen: that's great. maybe we'll make this a yearly
>> did somebody say tradition? ( band starts "tradition" ) tradition. tradition. tradition. tradition. tradition. tradition. who, day and night, must scramble for a living feed wife and children say his daily prayers and who has the right as master of the house to have the final word at home the papa. the papa tradition. the papa the papa dai dai dai-dai-dai-dai dai dai dai-dai-dai-dai dai dai dai-dai-dai-dai dai! hey! hey! hey hey hey!
( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: that was good. we should start every show with a musical. happy, march 1, everybody. we made it. we made it through february. and happy tuesday. this is not just any tuesday, it's suuper! tuesssday! could i get a really ( bleep ) like local access cable zoom in and zoom out, please. suuuper! tuesssday! it was worth it. as we speak, 13 states are holding their presidential primaries. so many delegates are awarded, it can change the course of an election. anything can happen. unless you've looked at the polls, in which case, one thing can happen. this is the road to the white
( applause ) >> smiling, laughing, i'd like to punch him in the face, i'll tell you. now, we actually tape this before the polls close tonight so i still don't know yet who won or who cares. but on the democratic side, while hillary looks poised for big victories tonight, bernie sanders has promised to stay in the race for all 50 states. or 51, if you count the state of denial. but there could be a shake-up for the democrats because it is being widely reported that there is solid, photographic proof linking hillary clinton to a known terrorist organization. an editor at "politico" was tipped off that in hillary clinton's book "living history," hillary included this picture of her family in 1959 with their cat, isis!
( applause ) right there! right there! in print! that's right, hillary clinton's childhood cat was named isis. this is the most shocking political pet news since jimmy carter revealed his childhood cat's name was ayatollah katmeini. ( laughter ) now, "politico" isn't claiming that hillary clinton named her cat after isis. we have to leave open the possibility that isis named themselves after hillary's cat. we just don't know yet. but it does make sense, if you don't think about it. cats have a lot in common with isis-- they're both ruthless killers who poop in the sand. ( laughter ) ( applause ) one assumes. a lot of sand out there. and, and, both isis and cats have flooded the internet with recruitment videos. ( laughter ) and super tuesday is just as crucial for the republicans, which is why things got so
debate, which according to donald trump he won hands down. just look at this tweet. ( laughter ) now, i have no doubt trump had a raging honer. thank god he was standing behind a podium at the time. and regardless of who won, i think we all lost. >> now he's repeating himself. he says five things: everyone is dumb. we're going to make america great again. we're going to win, win, win. >> first of all, this guy is a choke artist and that guy's a liar. >> you have a combination of factors. he can't do it for the obvious reason, and he can't do it because he doesn't know how to tell the truth. >> stephen: it was like ultimate fighting but without the satisfaction of seeing any of them get kicked in the face. ( laughter ) it got so bad, at one point-- and this is true-- cnn's closed
said "unintelligible yelling." ( cheers and applause ) but i want to assure the hearing impaired you did not miss anything. "unintelligible yelling" is what you got even when trump was the only person talking. now, the guy establishment republicans are counting on to take trump down is marco rubio, who, unfortunately, is trailing in every super tuesday race and is behind trump even in his home state of florida by almost 20 points. he's losing all the key florida demographics-- the elderly, the furries, and guys in jean jackets who sell pool noodles out of a van. but rubio is not going down without a fight. >> he doesn't sweat because his pores are clogged from the spray tan that he uses. he's flying around on "hair force one" and tweeting "donald is not going to make america great. he's going to make america orange." then he asked for a full-length mirror.
podium goes up to here, but he wanted a full length mirror. maybe to make sure his pants weren't wet. i don't know. donald trump likes to sue people. he should sue whoever did that to his face. >> stephen: that's my time. good night! don't forget to tip your wait ris! ( applause ) and tip your candidate. this could work. insult comedy is a time-honored political strategy. who can forget the gettysburg address when abraham lincoln famously decreed, "general lee's mother is so fat, we could keep the union together with one of her belts." ( laughter ) ( applause ) rubio is going full rickles on trump, and he is not afraid to aim low. >> i admit he is taller than me. he is 6'2", which is why i don't understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5'2". have you seen his hands?
men with small hands? you can't trust 'em, you can't trust 'em. >> stephen: hey, that's too far! that is-- no way! no, way. ( cheers and applause ) we'll be right back with chrissy teigen. has your phone turned you into a control freak? like, scoring the perfect table. or getting a better seat. or let's say there's an accident. if you have esurance, you can use their app to start a claim. upload a few photos and an
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my next guest is a model, tv personality, social media star and now the author of a new cookbook: "cravings: recipes for all the food you want to eat." please welcome chrissy teigen. >> stephen: congratulations. >> thank you so much. >> stephen: i have not seen you since you became extremely pregnant. >> this is not how i wanted you to find out. ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, listen, it could happen any minute. i mean, are you not that far away. >> no, not at all. i'm supposed to not be traveling pretty soon, so i don't know if
>> stephen: you're welcome to stay here. >> thank you. it's nice to see your new house. >> stephen: do you like it here? >> i love it here. this is great. ( applause ) >> stephen: we could have the baby right here on the show. it would be huge ratings. >> do you have a tub? should i to a water birth? >> stephen: we can get a dolph nin here to help with the birthing experience. are you going to do anything special like that? >> no, no, i'm going to epidural it. >> stephen: we're going drugs and knives. >> drugs and knives. legal drugs. this is amazing. >> stephen: i might do an epidural tonight to get through the show. >> do you know there's a walk epidural and a regular epidural. >> stephen: what! >> there are all kinds. >> stephen: what's a walking epidural. >> you don't need a catheter. >> stephen: that's always good to know. >> i'm very excited. these are the things i am learning every day you. >> stephen: have entered into a new phase of your life. you actually have a cookbook which is called. "cravings."
>> before pregnancy we called it cravings. >> stephen: you came up with this title before you were pregnant. >> every morning i get up i want something new. i have different taste buds. it was before. and now it makes more sense. >> stephen: you want me to believe that? >> i swear to you! i swear! i promise. >> stephen: is there a particular theme to this cooking? >> it's got a lot of hearty food, my dad is a norwegian man, and my mom say little thai lady. a lot of it was what i cooked growing up with my dad. i was a daddy girl. >> stephen: it's not model food. >> no, no, definitely not. i eat like this, too. i know when to buckle down. i know when i have "sports illustrate" or something it's time to really buckle down and i take two and a half, three weeks to not eat like this. or i actually have a lot of low-carb recipes in there, a zucchini lasagna. but i still need to be satisfied. i can't just diet. i need to feel like i'm eating hearty foods. >> stephen: you were at the oscars as i said.
>> stephen: this beautiful photograph of you and your husband. >> i'm glad you picked that photo and not the other thing that happened. >> stephen: what else happened? >> i made a face. again. >> stephen: oh! oh, you mean this photo right here. >> no! ( applause ) >> stephen: this photee right there? what's going on in that photo. what's happening? >> a lot of stacy dash. >> stephen: i think a lot of people couldn't figure out what was going on at that moment. >> it was so funny. in the room it was dead silence. i actually think they put laughter in after. i saw some clips when i got home oh, man. that was weird. when he said her name, we were all like oh, we thought that was the joke. and then she came out, and no one expected it. >> stephen: as you said, you're half norwegian and half thai. >> yes. >> stephen: and as a person of a mixed ancestry and a person of color, do you think at the oscars that norwegians are properly represented? ( laughter ).
i'm glad you brought that up. we are, yan tyingen and i, who is also of norwegian descent, we spoke about it. >> stephen: who is that? >> stephen: really? >> and that's about it. honestly. i've googled it before. there are not too many we would know. >> stephen: when you say you have to buckle down for twoar three weeks to get ready for a "sports illustrated"" shoot what, do you mean by "buckle out?" >> work out and eat well. i come from a family where we blow up in a bad weekend. >> stephen: i bet you really do. >> john as well. oh, my gosh. that butt will just get huge! >> stephen: i have seen your husband's butt. >> have you. >> stephen: on a photograph you took of his butt. >> oh, yes, i forced you to see it, then. >> stephen: you forced me. i heard it was there and i went looking for it. being like you becoming sort of a queen of instagram, and queen of social media, is there a secret to a good instagram shot.
i believe bumping up the contrast, but no valencia or >> stephen: so nothing you would do to your face you don't want to do to the food. >> face, no, no. smoothing and stuff pup can't have smooth pancakes. my mom over-fitters our dogs and babies so they look like cherub ps. they don't look like real animals. my mom would face tune you to death and you would look like a plate. >> stephen: did you get these recipes from your mom? >> the thai mom section is definitely all mom inspired. >> stephen: did mom approve. >> oh, very mom approved. thai mom does not write down any recipes and every time we had her test a recipe and we tried to get her to write it down and we tried to write it down and watch her closely, it's different every time. so that was the tricky part with mom. >> stephen: i'd love to learn one of the recipes. >> loats do it. "cravings" is out now.
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back. we are here with our friend chrissy teigan who is going to show us a recipe from her new book "cravings." >> this is nice and simple gli can do tough. >> these are summer rolls. they're not thai. but they're close enough. they were vietnamese. >> stephen: there's no difference between vietnamese and thai. that's racist. >> they're close and we enjoy them, in our home at least. we're going to take a little warm water, dump this rice wrapper in here. >> stephen: that is a simple recipe. >> that's tand then you're done. >> stephen: how long do you keep it in there? >> until it softens, 15 seconds or so.
>> they're plasticky. >> stephen: how is your husband by the way. i love your husband. >> .>> he's good. ies getting ready for his paternity leave. >> stephen: speak of being a baby daddy, i sang with him once, and he hit one of those high notes and i thought i ovulated. >> we're going to put it on a damp cloth here. >> stephen: it sound delicious lead. >> we have a bar set up. i like to do this at home. i like people to work. i get them a drink and let them interact and have fun. this is lettuce. put it in the middle. >> stephen: that is perfectly clear. i can see right through that. >> that's perfectly clear. >> stephen: that is honest neadvertising. you know what you're going to put in your mouth. can i throw a couple of things in there. >> throw whatever you want in there. i think the star of this recipe is actually really the sauce. do you want to wrap it? >> stephen: sure, what do i do? >> wrap it like a biewr oato like whiewr @author chipotle.
be like chipotle. nice and tight like that. you don't have to yell through the entire thing. is that-- oh, i messed it up. there we go. there we go. >> beautiful! wonderful! >> stephen: that is something like a biewr oato. >> that's great. that looks wonderful. wait, cut it on the bias. >> stephen: what does bias mean? >> just a little slant air, diagonal cut. beautiful! nice job. put it on this little plate here. >> stephen: another got it right there. >> up to the try it? >> stephen: i'd love to. >> this is nice. you can dip it in whatever sauce. oh! oh! okay. that's good, right? you can't go wrong. >> stephen: that's so light, i think i'm losing weight. >> it is one of the healthier things in the book, i will say. >> stephen: so how long before the baby? >> oh, man, the countdown is on. we've got mid-april. >> stephen: really? >> crazy! i can't believe it.
picked out? >> we change it all the time. so if you have a suggestion -- >> steve sen a beautiful name. >> i asked barack -- >> "i asked barack." excuse me! ( cheers and applause ) >> we're, like, very first-name based. >> i was playing badminton with vladimir. go ahead with your obama story. >> asked president obama if he liebd one of our name choices and he said he did. but then i realized i should have came up with two so he could pick one. you know, you have to be nice about it. >> stephen: really, you're going to let the president pick the name of your child? >> yes, i wanted to ask him, because john isn't sold on the name. so i figured if he liked it, john would be sold on it. he said it's too hollywood. >> stephen: the name choices? >> yeah, i won't say it, but yeah. >> stephen: you told barack obama but you won't tell me. just whisper it to me. i won't telethem. >> you won't say is. >> stephen: i love that? >> really.
barack obama, guwith that. >> the book is "cravings." the woman is chrissy teigan. we'll be right back, everybody. get 30% off every guest every ship in the caribbean but hurry, this offer won't come seek the royal book today at 1-800-royalcaribbean. dad, you can just drop me off right here. oh no, i'll take you up to the front of the school. that's where your friends are. seriously, it's,
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called "thank god for jokes." please welcome mike birbiglia! ( applause ) you. >> how are you? nice to meet you. i'm very intimidated. >> stephen: no need, no need. i'm intimidated by you. you've written and starred in your own one-man show called "thank god for jokes," which is at the lynn redgrave theater. and i also thank god for jokes. what do you mean when you say "thank god for jokes"? >> you know, the show has some religious themes, and it has -- >> are you a religious person? >> well, i was raised catholic. i was an altar boy as a kid and the answer is no. >> stephen: i was an altar boy for many years. how about you. 11 years. >> yeah, i was. 11 year! wow. >> stephen: second grade to senior year. >> i would say probably half that.
and, yeah. i was-- and it was-- that was an odd thing for getting into comedy because my mosms very concerned when-- were you parents concerned? >> stephen: no, my mom was all for it. >> really. >> stephen: yeah, she probably should have worried more. >> my mom when i moved to new york to pursue comedy. she said-- she goes, "just don't become one of those dirty comedians." ( laughter ) and i said, "okay." and she said, "you don't have to use those words to be funny. for example, oprah's very funny." ( laughter ) and i-- i said, "maybe to gayle." "or even stedman, when they let him in it on, but i just don't know if you understand my goals, mom. i'm not trying to be the queen of daytime." but i-- but, you know, i've tried to-- i've tried to not-- i talk about this in the show a bit if "thank god for jokes" but i try not to curse a lot for
in places just for that reason. >> stephen: theyment you to curse? >> no, just because i don't curse a lot. >> stephen: oh, like a church group or something like that. >> like a few years ago i got booked at a christian college in missouri and the show was in this giant gymnasium and there was a 30-foot crucifix on the wall. and i thought that was funny. i was thinking what if jesus were there. what would he say? "use the elliptical." i hope that's not offensive. >> stephen: not at all, not at all. not to me. >> because i think about jesus a lot. i went to, you know, catholic school, and they teach you when you're so young-- you're, like, seven, and they're like, "there's this guy jesus and he loves you, and you love him, too, right?" and you're like, "wait, do i know this guy." and they're like, "there was this guy jesus and he loves everybody and a long time ago he died but it's not totally your fault, don't be scared and sad, because he's in heaven and
holy spirit, who nobody understands and there's a cluster staring at awe all the time." it's odd. >> stephen: yeah, yeah. so you played this gig. did they like your stuff? >> no. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that's tough. >> so the show is called "thank god for jokes." it's in some ways about how, you know, jokes are in some ways a religious experience of sorts. they're a way we bond -- >> they're a collective experience. people laugh at the same time. it's unvoluntary. >> and you certainly i feel like my wife and i bond-- you met my wife backstage gli dlovely. and your baby. >> my little-- my baby. >> stephen: well, small. she was small. that was her head. i was doing her head. her head is very small. una. >> una. i feel like-- i think the most special thing about marriage is jokes, that you can share jokes with your wife and husband that are funny to you and that exprn no one else, other than, maybe,
because when you have a cat, your barometer for humor, out the window. like-- let me explain. >> stephen: because the cat doesn't laugh at your jokes? i don't understand. >> no, the cat-- i'll give you an example. last summer, my wife and i went on a trip to massachusetts. and i called it cats-a-chooseets, and was not funny but in our house was the joke of the year. >> stephen: did you bring your cat with you? >> we did, we did. >> stephen: i get it. >> literally, that was like i said, we're going to cats-a-chooset. and i was like aah! and my wife was like aaah! everybody loves a good pun when you have a cat. >> stephen: you should definitely stick with this woman because she's laughing. >> we have a very special thing. >> stephen: she's not over there right now. you can keep looking but she's not actually over there right now. >> so we drive to cats-a-chooseets, and when we arrived-- see, now you're getting it.
>> now we're starting to have this bond. >> so we drive to cats-a-chooseets and my wife has a headache and she asked fiwould acclimate our cat to the bedroom -- >> do what. >> acclimate our cat ivan to the bedroom. >> stephen: just put the cat in the a bedroom. >> you're clearly not a cat -- >> i had a cat. i had several cats. i didn't acclimate my cat. i'm an aka-la-cat. >> if it's an indoor cat, if you don't acclimate it, it will just explode. >> stephen: they depressurize. they depressure eyes, yes. >> so i'm acclimating ivan to the bedroom, and i fall asleep, which is the only thing you can't do when acclimating an indoor cat. i fall asleep-- ( laughter ). >> stephen: why-- why can't you-- why can't you acclimate a-- why can't you fall asleep? do they just go straight for your eyes while they're sleeping? why can't you fall asleep? >> if i leaned in as much as
>> you'd be the host. >> we'd be kissing. >> stephen: i'm really curious about this. you don't have to do this with dogs, you know. >> no, no. no, so-- wait, so you're asking why do you have to -- >> why do you have to stay weak when you're acclimating a cat? >> to make sure they don't get out, because they're trying to get out. >> stephen: close the door! close the door! you're making this more complicated than it has to be. acclimate the cat! put the cat in-- >> don't get mad at me! >> stephen: i'm not mad-- >> we just met! why are you getting mad at me. >> stephen: i think your wife just wants wants some alone time. >> she does. >> stephen: you're in there with the cat? >> i come out and ivan got out. i ran around the house, he got out, he was in the basement. it doesn't matter. the point, is we were staying at this house in western mass., and there were mice in the house, and they were parasitic mice. >> stephen: what?
have you ever heard of toxo plas moasis. it means they have a parasite in them. >> stephen: or they have a parasite in them. they're not parasitic mice. they don't latch on to you like a leach and you have to pick them off with a hot match or something like that. that's what parasitic mice sound like. >> they have a parasite in them and they want it to be in you. >> stephen: the mice do not. >> i swear to god. >> stephen: mice don't know. >> you need to research this, stephen. >> stephen: yes. >> so they're unafraid of cats and they're unafraid of people. >> stephen: wait, they're unafraid. >> i swear, my wife was watching tv on the coach, and she looked next to her and there was a mouse and he was watching tv also. and she screamed, and he just looked up at her like stuart little. like, "hey, what's going on? i don't like this show either. i don't know why all those women would want to marry that one guy." and she pushed him off the coach. >> stephen: just pushed him off. just pushed him off. >> you know, just kind of
>> and he didn't even run away. he-- he didn't even scurry, which is a verb invented for mice. ( laughter ) he just walked through the kitchen like a roommate. he was like, "fine, i'll go in the other room. i just think you're over-reacting." then he did a confessional into the mouse-cam in the kitchen. he's like, "i'm not here to make friends. i was here before they came. i'll be he were when they're gone." that's from "real mouse wives of cats-a-chooseets. >> stephen: you know what that mouse was? he was acclimated. ( laughter ) mike, congratulations on the new show. >> thank you! >> stephen: thank you for being here. >> thanks for having me on. it was such an honor. the show is called "thank god for jokes." this man knows how to acclimate a cat. what? we could have stopped.
i don't want to stop. but eventually we have to do the commercials. you have something more to say. i'm happy to hear. >> we extended through may. >> stephen: you extended through may! >> it was going to be six weeks -- >> ist says right there. through may 29. it's never ending. the theater is acclimated to him now, mike birbiglia, everybody. we'll be right back. like a team. a combination designed to help improve your baby's skin barrier while you stimulate his senses. johnson's
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welcome back everybody. my next guest has been making science fun since 2003 as the co-host of "mythbusters." please welcome the great adam savage. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: it is such an honor to have you here in the last run of "mythbusters." how many more shows? >> one last show airs next saturday night, and then we're done forever. >> stephen: what a long, strange trip it's been, man. so 2003.
>> stephen: what did you think the show was going to be because it's become a cultural icon? >> i thought that the name sounded like a really silly name fair show. like "mythbusters." that doesn't roll off the tongue. that's not going to be great. but i had been teaching myself film making on a digital video camera and a laptop, and they asked for a demo reel, and we sent it in. >> stephen: what was in the demo? what was the first thing you busted to prove-- it's a proof of concept. >> we talked about lawn chair larry. the guy who put 20 balloons on his lawn chair. >> stephen: california, yeah. >> we lit something on fire, put it out with our feet and ran away. >> stephen: and thus. >> yes. >> stephen: a legend was born. >> they showed up three weeks later to film the show and we never stopped filming until november. >> stephen: wow. i've said this before-- actually, i-- i-- i-- said it to you, which is that what i love
made the scientific method a guilty pleasure. >> i love that comment. >> stephen: you just loved watching the stages. which do you like more, actually busting the myth or showing the process of busting the myth? because the problem solving is so beautiful. >> you've isolated exactly my favorite part of the job, which is the process. and showing how messy and creative it is, and it's like when people come up to me and they're like, "you shoald me that science could be fun so i went into engineering." oh! we never imagined that we were getting children interested in science. we never think of the children. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: no. you don't. except those-- all those things like what you're about to see, we are professionals. don't try this at home. >> it always felt like a little bit of a ruse to say that. >> stephen: it is. because you know people are at home putting spray paint in the can and setting it on fire.
got away, one you wanted to do but you couldn't actually do it or show it? >> there is a-- there's a native american myth about going duck hunting that if you want to collect ducks, you float pumpkins in their pond, and get them used to pumpkins floating around, and then when you want to eat duction you put a pumpkin on your head and swim up to them. ( laughter ) and my friend who is a hunter told me that you could-- who apparently has tried this-- that you can go right up to them and grab them by the legs and pull them right under, and the ducks around them won't even notice. ( laughter ). >> stephen: and? >> we never got to test it. it was a myth i had to jettison at the last minute in the last season because we had too much footage and we had to -- >> you know someone is going to start a show called "pumpkin busters." i understand there was a mouse one that you shot but couldn't show. >> yeah. your mother probably said this to you when you were a kid, "i'm
the box is more nutritious than the cereal inside." we fed three cages of lab mice. one was eated controlled mouse food, the second froot loops and the third was eating cardboard. after about five days, we came in and the cardboard cage no longer had three mice in it. it had one really fat mouse who we nicknamed him killer. ( laughter ) >> stephen: he had eaten his friends. >> he had eaten his friends. >> stephen: was the cardboard gone, too? >> no. >> stephen: it was so delicious he was like, "hey, you look pretty good, too." >> actually, he had eaten them. they were literally like a head, rib cage, and tail like he had eaten them like a corn on the cob. >> stephen: it conjurs an image with the first one he eats and the second one in the corner going, "he's only going to do that once, right. i'm on your side on this one. that guy deserved this but come on."
>> stephen: that's moment i'm thinking of right now i would love to recreate a classic myth with you and i understand you have one with you right now? >> yes. >> stephen: do we need to get up judge up? >> let me set the stage. we were testing would a penny thrown from the empire state building kill you when it hits the ground. >> stephen: that was the first show, wasn't it? >> i think it was very early -- >> so the myth is you drop a penny from the empire state building and it goes right through your skull. >> it continues to go faster and faster and faster and will go right into you and into the sidewalk is . >> stephen: i heard that one growing up. >> and when you visit the empire state building, every level of the observation deck littered with change. >> stephen: they're making a wish on someone else's skull. >> exactly. so we figured out the terminal velocity of a penny and we figured out that that wasn't lethal, and to prove it, jamie
but there is no such thing as a fact which cannot be independently corroborated, so i'm going to ask you to be scientific with me and help me recorroborate this. would you shoot me in the ass with a penny? >> stephen: i'd be honored. all right, let's do it. ( cheers and applause ) now, tell me the nature of this wall. why is the wall striped? >> the wall it striped so as the penny travels people can the home can do math about how fast it's actually traveling. we do this for every one of our projectile stunts. >> stephen: you be over there. i'll be over here. i believe we have a pneumatic gun. okay. ( laughter ) anything i need to know about said gun? >> i built this in my shop on friday. you've got to point the laser pointer at my butt and pull back on this. put a penny in first. >> stephen: put a penny in the slot. >> excellent. >> stephen: all right, hold on to it tight.
>> stephen: all right. gruel drop trou. ( applause ) >> here we go. >> stephen: that's nice, man. there you go. okay. ( cheers and applause ) ready? are you ready? >> i'm ready! >> stephen: this is for science now. >> this is for science! >> stephen: okay, everybody go, 3, 2, 1. ready? 3, 2, 1. >> ow! >> stephen: yeah, baby! ( cheers and applause ) yeah! science! science! how long? do we have it? all right. now, you're not dead. we've prove than you're not dead. so myth confirmed, plausible, or busted? >> myth busted. a penny from the empire state
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>> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be octavia spencer. from "fuller house," john stamos, bob saget, and dave coulier. and a musical performance by lucius. now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> reggie: are you ready to have some fun feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout your hang-ups and fears 'bout to set you right it's the late, late show >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from saskatchewan, ontario alberta, give it up for the one, the only james corden!